There’s an old Jennifer Lopez song that goes, “I’m feeling so good/I knew that I would/Been taking care of myself/Like I should.” Back when she first sang those words—amid a series of high-profile romantic flameouts—they might have seemed like wishful thinking. But now, poolside at her house in the suburbs of New York, wearing a long Pucci patio dress and no makeup, the actress, singer and business mogul is living that confident message. Her new album may be titled Love?, but in real life, there’s no question mark. These days, Lopez, 41, is a happily married lady, having just celebrated her six-year wedding anniversary with singer Marc Anthony. They’re mom and dad to twins Emme and Max, and if you saw her dancing with Tom Cruise at this year’s MTV Movie Awards (a moment well worth YouTubing), it’s clear that the woman’s still got it.
I first interviewed Lopez for this magazine three years ago, when her pool was under renovation and the twins were just a twinkle in her eye; since then, I’ve gotten to know her a bit (Lopez’s Nuyorican Productions is developing a film version of a series of books I wrote about Latina girls in Miami). Today the pool is complete, and Jennifer’s mom, her niece and sister splash around in the water, waiting for her to join them. But before jumping in, she shares with me the story of these past few years and where that confidence—and the kind of happiness that fills her new music—comes from.
GLAMOUR: So how much of this photo shoot is really like your life?
JENNIFER LOPEZ: I like to maintain a certain sense of fantasy in my life. I am kind of like that at home. Do I have the full hair and makeup? No. But I might have the nice dress on.
GLAMOUR: And is Chinese takeout a staple in your home?
JENNIFER LOPEZ: Marc actually loves Chinese a little too much. He’ll say, “I’m really in the mood for Chinese.” I’m like, “Again?”
GLAMOUR: Do both of you like to cook?
JENNIFER LOPEZ: Marc doesn’t cook, but he will prepare an occasional turkey. I like to cook Puerto Rican food. That’s what I grew up on: rice, beans, meat, some Italian-American food. I know my way around the kitchen. We enjoy having that normalcy, because we don’t have that much of it. We really are a traveling gypsy family.
GLAMOUR: I feel like the public has a good idea of who you are, but do you think that the public knows Marc?
JENNIFER LOPEZ: Probably not as much. He’s concentrated on not being out there as much.
GLAMOUR: Has he made you more private? Or do you make him more open?
JENNIFER LOPEZ: I think both. I think that’s what a partnership is—you take the positives from both people and incorporate them. He helped me learn that there was a way to have more privacy and more stability in my life.
GLAMOUR: Does this year feel like a return to the public?
JENNIFER LOPEZ: It does. It’s funny—I don’t feel like I’ve been anywhere, except kind of on maternity leave. It’s been great, and I definitely feel renewed vigor for my career.
GLAMOUR: Did you plan on two years at home?
JENNIFER LOPEZ: I didn’t. In my mind I first felt like, Oh, I’ll be back to work right after the babies are born. But then you don’t want to. Even now, it’s very difficult for me to leave them in the morning. It just tortures me. I’m like, It’s been hours; are they wondering where I am? Do they know that I love them so much and I’m thinking only about them?
GLAMOUR: Is Marc the kind of dad you imagined he’d be?
JENNIFER LOPEZ: He’s a passionate person, and he’s the same way with his kids, and I love it. When it comes to all his kids [including a daughter and sons from previous relationships], he’s mush, whatever they want.
GLAMOUR: Are you the stricter one?
JENNIFER LOPEZ: I’m the one who keeps everybody on schedule, like, Got to go to bed at this time, got to eat something…. I was talking about this with somebody—they asked, “Do you still love working?” I said, “I just do it quicker.” There’s no “Go to the studio, have dinner, sit there.” I don’t have all the time in the world anymore.
GLAMOUR: Right. Did it change your workout routine? Did you give yourself time to get back into shape?
JENNIFER LOPEZ: I did the triathlon six months after the babies were born, and part of that was about giving myself a goal. Maybe it was an emotional thing: Like, that tiger’s still in there. But it takes a year [after pregnancy]. You’re not going to get slim in six weeks. For me, it’s been back and forth. Now, two years later, I feel really back to normal.
GLAMOUR: Will you do another triathlon?
JENNIFER LOPEZ: I would if I didn’t have to swim in the ocean. That really scared me! If it were in a pool, I’d do it again in a minute. It’s an amazing thing to push yourself and to accomplish a goal like that.
GLAMOUR: Does that apply to everything in your life?
JENNIFER LOPEZ: I think so. I feel if in your mind you can do it, you can do it. You cannot doubt yourself. Doubt is a killer. You just have to know who you are and what you stand for.
GLAMOUR: But how do you dismiss doubt? Is it a friend that you turn to? Is it yourself? Is it working even harder?
JENNIFER LOPEZ: I didn’t experience doubt until later in my life. When I was young, I was just about hard work. But as I got older, I did experience anxiety, doubt, judgment, and it’s so easy to lose yourself for a second. I always joke about letting the haters motivate you. Everybody has that in their life, people who doubt them or make them feel less than they are. It just takes faith and belief in yourself, and you’ve got to dig deep into that. That has to come from you—nobody’s going to give you that. You can have a great mentor, a great partner, a great love in your life who gives you confidence and makes you feel great about yourself. And that’s all wonderful, but at the end of the day, if you don’t believe it, all of that means nothing.
GLAMOUR: This has been such an inspiring time politically for Latinas, with the confirmation of Sonia Sotomayor to the Supreme Court. Have you met her?
JENNIFER LOPEZ: We have. We actually had a dinner for her here at the house.
GLAMOUR: Wow. When she got confirmed?
JENNIFER LOPEZ: Yes. It was so inspirational what she accomplished. My mom and sister were in Atlantic City with us on the [day she was confirmed]. Marc was still in bed, and he goes, “It’s happening. She’s on the TV. She’s getting sworn in.” And she was standing there with her mom. I will never forget this moment: We all stopped and looked, and we all started crying. You just felt it. It was such a huge accomplishment to be the first Latina, to be from the Bronx, to be everything that she is. So we thought we had to do something nice and invited her over. And I told her, “Just know that you make me want to be better. You make people realize that with hard work, living a good life, you can do anything. You will be rewarded for that.”
GLAMOUR: As a mom, you’re a role model for your kids. What do you want to tell Max about love and how to treat women?
JENNIFER LOPEZ: I think about it a lot. I want to teach him respect and appreciation for women by being a great woman.
GLAMOUR: What will you tell Emme about love?
JENNIFER LOPEZ: I was talking about it with one of my girlfriends—the day our daughters come to us at 19 years old saying, “I want to get married.” And we know for damn sure that that’s not a good idea. Sometimes [Emme] is going to make mistakes, and she’s going to have to live through that, just like I did. I know my mother suffered with me through many things. I’m just going to be suffering on the sidelines.
GLAMOUR: Do you wish that some parts of your past weren’t so public?
JENNIFER LOPEZ: I don’t regret what I’ve been through. I’ve had ups and downs, super highs and some really low lows. I’ve been so blessed that I could never say, “I wish this didn’t happen.” It’s part of who I am. There’s nothing in my life that’s so ugh. Yes, there are some things that I’m like, Eww, but not where I’m worried about [Max and Emme] finding out. I’ll tell them myself. No secrets from them.
GLAMOUR: Your new album is titled Love? Why the question mark?
JENNIFER LOPEZ: For me, love is the never-ending question. It is confusing. It is the answer, but it is also inundated with contradictions and complications. It’s about years of experience in different relationships, and kind of the culmination of that, and how even to this day, I’m still learning.
Veronica Chambers is the features director of Glamour and the author of two new teen novels, Plus and Amigas.
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